Not My First Rodeo

This is not the first blog I have written.  I wrote another one about three years ago while in the midst of a severe depression, and while I was un-medicated.  I was also having marital troubles at the time, and things were dire and bleak.

Today, I happened to remember the name of the blog and went back and read it.  I was caught off guard by how depressing it was.  I was severely depressed, hopeless, and honestly could not believe that I had the energy to do anything.  I was miserable in my marriage, and struggled just to make it through the day.  I remember thinking I wanted this blog to be therapeutic and I was going to be brutally raw and honest.

I was fooling myself.  I wasn’t totally honest but I did allude to a lot of things going on behind the scenes.  I was so depressed that I could not see that I was drowning and did not have a life preserver.  Out of desperation, I threatened that I would leave if he did not get counseling.

It worked.  After a year, we were able to put our marriage back together.  I went back to seeing my doctor, got on medication, and while things aren’t perfect, they are better than they had been.  It was really eye opening and reminded me of things I had long forgotten.  Some were painful and some were not.  While I don’t care to share the link to this blog, I will say that it will assist with some topics that I will be writing about for a while.

Thank you for reading.

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